MAGIC LECTURE ETIQUETTE

While I am well aware that I am not the first to broach this topic, I feel it is important enough to address it here. Having booked, attended, and given many magic lectures, I have seen an appalling lack of proper decorum and etiquette. It is my hope that this is due to ignorance and not intent, and that perhaps at least some who read this will actively pursue correcting the problems. Let's go through some of the more common infringements of good magic lecture etiquette.

1. Interacting with the lecturer

If you see that your lecturer is in the middle of setting up for the lecture, or packing up after it, or in the middle of selling his stuff, please do not attempt to monopolize his time. During his setup, for example, you could very well distract him enough (he will likely be too polite to tell you that he is busy and would rather be left alone at the moment) that he will forget some key component, stack, prop, etc, and as a result will be unprepared for that effect in the lecture--or even worse, not realize that he is unprepared and have the trick not work as a result. I know; it's happened to me, and I've seen it happen to others.

Further, please don't try to monopolize his time, period. At every lecture I've ever given, hosted, or attended, there has always been at least one guy who seems to think that the lecturer is there to be his sounding board--to stand there and listen to him drone on endlessly about how he does McDonald's Aces with the threes, or how he gets twenty minutes of entertainment out of the thirty-second effect the lecturer explained just before the break, etc. Remember that there are other people there to see this honored guest--it's not all about you!

It is perfectly legitimate to introduce yourself, tell him how much you enjoyed the lecture, how valuable you found his book to be, etc. If you're buying an item, it is fine to ask him to autograph it and make small talk. Just don't act as if you are the only person in the room and he is there to do nothing but chat with you.

2. "Fiddling" during the lecture

Here's a biggie: during the lecture, please do not continuously riffle your cards or jingle your coins! This is so annoying to everyone else, and is distracting to the lecturer. If you want to take out your Bikes or coins and "walk through" the explanation of a particular trick, that's one thing. But please don't "fiddle" with them during the whole lecture. It is the equivalent of going to a movie you've eagerly anticipated, only to have the person in front of you texting and talking on his cell phone the whole time, while the person behind you keeps kicking your seat.

I booked a Northwest tour for a well-known performer a few years ago, and I drove him from city to city. At every lecture, there were several guys who were constantly jangling coins and riffling decks. At one, there was a guy standing off to one side near the front jangling his coins so obnoxiously that my friend finally had to stop mid-explanation and ask, "Could you stop doing that, please?" The rest of the room burst into applause!

3. "Me, me, I, I..."

This may well be the single biggest hindrance to a positive lecture experience for both the lecturer and the other attendees.

When attending a lecture, do not interrupt the lecturer to tell him how you go about doing a particular effect or how you have modified his routine, etc. After the performance or explanation of an effect, if he asks if there are any questions or comments it is fine to say, "I do that effect and it always plays well. Thank you." or words to that effect. But don't go on and on about how you've added this and that, or how you do a watch steal in the middle of your Ambitious Card routine and so forth. The other attendees have paid to see and hear the lecturer, not you. Keep the "me, me, I, I" stories for sessions and club meetings, or for your own lecture.

The exception to this, of course, is if the lecturer specifically asks you to go on. Otherwise, ZIP IT!

4. Video or audio recording and photographing

This should go without saying, but...

ALWAYS ask for permission before you begin to record or take photos! 'Nuff said.

5. Heckling

You would think that this wouldn't be an issue... but it IS! I have seen guys yell out what they perceived to be the method ("You kept it in your other hand!" "You just did a pass!"), smugly "hold court" and correct the lecturer ("Wait! That was actually first explained in a letter from Al Cohen to Ed Marlo in 1968, where..."), etc.

At one lecture I hosted, the lecturer asked to borrow a quarter. One of the wise guys attending offered him a gaffed coin. The lecturer looked at it, tried to be "game", smiled and said, "A regular quarter" as he handed the owner his gaff. The guy did the world's worst switch and handed him back the same coin! That particular lecturer was ticked, and rightly so.

Another time, the lecturer was demonstrating a routine using Grant's Million Dollar Mystery, where a couple of bills are torn in half and the half-bills are given to different audience members. As he was speaking, one of the guys with a half-bill took out his own bill, tore it in two, and at the climax of the trick returned the half from his own bill as if it was the one handed him earlier! Unbelievable!

If you are so insecure that you can't let someone else have the floor for a couple of hours, and you feel like you absolutely have to correct him or sabotage him, do us all a favor: never attend another magic lecture! One guy who messed with a particular lecturer has no idea how close he came to getting the living daylights beat out of him. And the rest of the club would have applauded!

6. "Group purchases"

I can't believe that the participants in this little scheme think they are putting anything past anyone. You see it at almost every lecture...

Three or four guys huddle together, pull out their wallets, and tally their cumulative resources. Then they walk over to the sales table, where a three or four-volume DVD set is available. Each of them buys one volume. "Coincidentally", each of them buys a different volume. Like I said, who do they think they are fooling?

Worse yet are the club officers who tell everyone in advance (I have seen this happen!) NOT to buy any DVDs, because he will buy one for the "club library", and they can rent it and make their own copies!

Here's a thought: Just knock the lecturer down, steal his stuff, and take his money. It will save everyone some time, and is a lot more honest!

7. Booking and hosting the lecturer

There are several sub-topics on this that I want to address one at a time.

a. Attendance estimates

In their desire to make their club seem like a more appealing engagement, many club representatives will grossly exaggerate the expected attendance. "We should have between 70 and 85 people there for you." The lecturer arrives, to discover 28 people will be attending. You may wonder why that should be such a big deal. Well, it is, for a couple of reasons.

First, even in this electronic media age, most clubs want (and most lecturers provide) hard copies of their lecture notes, other books and booklets, and DVDs. If you tell me 80 guys are coming to the lecture, I'm going to have 55-60 sets of the notes printed, and bring 40-45 of each of my booklets and DVDs. For 28 people, 15-20 of each would have sufficed. Besides the wasted expense of printing, if I am flying to your city, I either had to ship that stuff in advance or pay to have it loaded on the plane--not an insignificant expense in either case. Then I have to get it back home again; another needless expense.

If you call a lecturer to ask him to come to your club, make a realistic estimate of attendance. In fact, it's better to underestimate than to overestimate, much less to knowingly exaggerate. A lecturer would rather be pleasantly surprised by the turnout and take orders to be filled when he returns home than disappointed with the turnout, have all those leftover copies of everything, and all the extra expense. This is especially true if he is crossing international borders, where customs fees will be added!

If you are the person booking the lecture, make sure you actually tell people about it and promote it. At one lecture I'd booked in a major US city, my host "forgot" to put the word out. As a result, the people attending consisted of me, my friend who had come on my tour to share the driving and take care of my sales table, and the host. That's right, ONE GUY--the one who had booked me--showed up! And there was supposed to be an attendance of better than forty! Ridiculous, but true, annoying, and financially painful!

b. Airport pick-up

The big issues here are timely pick-up and identification. With the latter, if you are picking up a lecturer that doesn't know you, don't assume you'll be able to recognize him from his publicity photo, and just hang around outside waiting for him. Stand at the waiting area with a sign that has his name in large, legible letters. Don't put him through the added stress of hoping that you will recognize him.

Timeliness is another matter that shouldn't have to be addressed. And yet, it is amazing how many times a lecturer will have to wait hours for his ride, who shows up 20 minutes before the lecture is to start, drives him straight to the venue, and expects him to give a quality, focused lecture. The guy probably hasn't eaten, he likely wants to change clothes and maybe have a shower, etc. Please don't make him wait at the airport!

c. Directions to the hotel and venue

If your lecturer is driving, whether from the airport or from another city, please make sure that the person giving him driving directions knows the city, knows exactly where the hotel and venue are, and knows the difference between left, right, and north, south, east, and west. It is also important that he understands the best routes to avoid delays, and knows pretty closely how much time the drive will take. Do not underestimate travel time! There is nothing worse than bad directions and wasting time driving all over, worried if you are going to be late to your own lecture. When someone told you that a seven hour drive takes "about four to five hours", it is extremely frustrating!

By the way, sorry, techies, but Google Maps and MapQuest don't cut it. They are often just plain wrong, and do not take into account the shortcuts, traffic jams, and road construction that a local knows. Hook a brother up!

d. Accommodations

If you promised the lecturer a hotel room, don't surprise him with a hide-a-bed in your living room or a flea bag motel that rents by the hour! I once gave a lecture for a major club in a major American city where the hotel they booked me seemed to be right out of crime movie! The elevator was broken; there were bars over all the windows and doors. My room's bathroom floor had a hole in it--in the hole was a coke spoon, a needle and a pocket mirror, and all night I heard gunshots and sirens!

I have always told people I don't mind staying in someone's home, provided it is not too far from the lecture venue and the route to either the airport or to the next city on my tour if I'm driving. Further, I explain that due to a bad back and joints, I need a real bed. A hide-a-bed, cot, or air mattress on the floor will have me walking like a 90 year-old the next day. In spite of this, one time I was put up in a home where my "bed" was a sleeping bag on a hardwood floor--in the nursery, where a baby woke up and cried to be fed every few hours! Like I said, hook a brother up!

e. Payment

Now here's a real source of irritation. This has happened to me more than once, and I know others who have had the same experience:

You book a lecture in good faith. You show up on time ready to go. You give it your best effort. You are as amiable as possible with everyone attending. As you are packing everything up, one of the club officers approaches you and apologizes that the club treasurer had the flu and didn't make it to the lecture, and he asks if they can mail you a check.

WHAT????

First of all, especially if the lecturer is on the road for a couple of weeks, pay him in cash if at all possible. If you're worried about club financial records, make up a receipt for him to sign. But if you can, pay him in cash--it is much easier to spend, and it never "bounces" (yes, I HAVE had the check for my lecture fee bounce--more than once!).

Second, pay the guy before the lecture, as soon as he walks in the door. That's just one less thing he'll have to worry about, and he'll be able to put that much more of his focus into giving you a good lecture. Don't make him come looking for payment like a bum looking for a handout.

The same is true at the sales table. Don't ask if you can take the stuff now and send the guy a check later. If you don't have any money with you and none of you friends can float you some, order the stuff later. When you are buying stuff, again, if at all possible pay the guy in cash. It really stinks when someone writes you a bad check for ten dollars and your bank charges you twenty-five because of it--you're out thirty-five bucks for a ten dollar item! It would have been more cost effective just to give the guy the item!

 

I'm sure there are other issues regarding lecture etiquette that could and should be addressed. However, I will leave those for another time, and possibly another writer. If you can make sure that you and your group follow the above guidelines, though, the lectures you book will be smooth and pleasant experiences for everyone involved.